Next time, I'll Bring My Can Opener...Stinky Makes Her Return

I got my lazy ass out of bed this morning so I could go to the gym. I made myself get up, because I have to lose this weight. Yes, I am still bitter, party of one about my weight gain. I have to be really hard on myself otherwise, I will continue to slide down this slippery slope I am on right now.

So, I get all my stuff out the door. I load it in the back of my car and as I close the rear lift gate of the car, I realize the car next to mine is really close. Like it's so close I don't think I will be able to get into my car. I get the door open, but I can't get into the car. Being the idiot I can be at 5:40 in the morning, I think I can fit my body in the space large enough for a small child, so I try to get into the car. I get my thigh in the door and then, I manage to get myself stuck. Yes, my big fat thigh stuck in my door. I almost rip my whole thigh off trying to get back out of the car. I start cussing up a blue streak and I am surprised I didn't wake up the whole apartment complex.

What idiot parks so close to the car next to them that the other person can't get into their car? Obviously, the answer to that question is the idiot who drives a White Ford Taurus and lives in my apartment complex, that's who. I stand behind my car and try to figure out what to do. I have to get to the gym. I need to get in my car. I won't fit in a space that is about 8 inches wide and I don't feel like losing my thigh trying to get in the car. Although, that would be a quick way to lose weight.

Finally, I decide to get in the passengers side of the car, crawl over the center console and into my seat. I back my car up and decide to leave my idiot neighbor a note stating "Thanks for making it nearly impossible for me to get into my car. Learn how to park!" Then, I took a picture of the person's license plate and the type of car they were driving because if they ever do something to my car, I know who to go looking for. I also know to never park near them again.

So, I make it to the gym and I get my workout in, even with part of my thigh still lodged in the door of my car. Okay, not really, but it did hurt. I was in the locker room after my workout. I hadn't seen "Stinky Girl" from earlier in the week. You know, the one who didn't take a shower after her workout. Well, I was standing at the counter putting on my make up and who walks in? You're right, STINKY GIRL! Stinky girl comes in and gets a baggie out of her locker. She comes over and washes her face. She then puts some stuff on her face, rather methodically, I might add. Then, she goes back out to the gym floor. She comes back and gets Oil of Olay out of her bag. She again, applies it rather methodically and puts her stuff back in her locker. She then starts getting ready without taking a shower! YUCK! It doesn't matter that she only has 2% body fat, she had still been exercising and if you have been exercising you need to take a shower. Plain and simple. Exercise, then take a shower.

I really want to send Stinky Girl a memo, but I don't think that is nice. Seriously, does she just not understand that you have to shower after you exercise? Did her Mom not teach her that? Did she miss that day in health class? Is she really that dumb? I hope her coworkers give her the memo, because not showering after you have been to the gym is just flat out heinous. Think of me what you want, but I'm right. Until next time, Diva Divine