I know I tell a lot of stories about things that happen at the gym, but the place is a veritable cornucopia of blogworthy-ness. Seriously, the things people do at the gym are just too good to pass up. Well this morning was the proverbial icing on the cake.
I was on the bike this morning and there was a lady on the treadmill who was obviously not a regular. I hadn't seen her before. She had about 2 percent body fat and she was running in a jog bra. So Miss 2% Body Fat gets done running and goes out to the parking lot and stands out there like she is waiting for someone to meet her. Then, she begins to do yoga poses. Okay, Miss 2% Body Fat is certifiably insane. Call the nice men in the white coats!
After doing several yoga poses, Miss 2% Body Fat comes back into the gym and goes to the weight lifting equipment. I went to the shower and kept shaking my head about her doing yoga poses in the middle of the Costco parking lot. I knew it was going to be a story I could post for all of you to read.
Well, just when you think, it's over the story only gets better. I took my shower and was getting ready when Miss 2% Body Fat walks into the locker room. She proceeds to strip down completely and parade through the locker room like it was nothing out of the ordinary. It was like she was showing off how wonderful her body looked. Yes, we all know you only have 2% Body Fat. We could tell that when you had clothes on. You really don't need to parade around nude to rub it in our faces. Yes, I probably sound like a bitter fat girl, but seriously what was she trying to prove?
Miss Look at Me I Look Amazing Naked 2% Body Fat gets into the shower and spares us from her naked parading. I was trying to get ready before she got out of the shower and started to parade around in all her nakedness again. Well, I was not fast enough and Miss 2% Body Fat whips open the shower curtain and stands there in front of the mirror naked and looks at herself in the mirror. I was trying to curl my hair, so I had to use the mirror or burn myself, and since I didn't want a big curling iron burn on my face, I had to use the mirror, Miss 2% Body Fat then announces "IF THEY SOLD TOWELS HERE, THEY WOULD MAKE A MINT!" Okay, no they wouldn't Miss 2% Body Fat, because it would increase the membership fees and the major reason most people belong to this gym is because it is a lot cheaper than the Y or other gyms where they offer things like towels. We bring our own towels and that keeps our membership at $19.95 a month! Miss 2% Body Fat, you might have a nice body, but you are not the brightest bulb on the bush.
So, Miss 2% Body Fat uses paper towel to dry her body off, in front of the mirror, nonetheless and then she gets dressed and skips out of the locker room. I was happy to see her gone. Seriously, you can be proud of the way you look and be proud of your body, but standing in front of the mirror and parading your nakedness around to all the people in the locker room like "Your body will never look as good as mine" is a little too much. I have come to like my body a little more over the last few months, but I don't parade around in front of people and say "Look at me, Look at me!" At least now I will get undressed in front of people and I don't hide behind the shower curtain. It's baby steps.
I had enough nakedness to last me for a very long, long, long time. I hope Miss 2% Body Fat doesn't come back to the gym anytime soon. I don't think I can deal with her parading herself all over. Plus, she didn't have shower shoes and you know there are ten bazillion germs on locker room floors. Until next time, Diva Divine
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