Sunday, August 31, 2008

Shalonda you were so wrong!

I went to the eye doctor today for a check up. I hadn’t been in about a year and a half and I had some sneaking suspicion my prescription had changed because it was becoming more difficult to see small print. I thought it could just be the fact that I don’t change my contacts as often as I should, but even when I would change them, things would only get better for a day or two and then I was straining my eyes again to see. I was also concerned about my lack of depth perception, which was pointed out to me when I failed that section of my physical with Shalonda back in July. I thought Shalonda was full of sh…. well, you get the picture, but I still had it in the back of my mind that I was having trouble with my vision.

I had gone to the same eye doctor since I was seven years old. I was one of his first patients when he finished med school. But, now that I am living over a hour from his office and paying $3.53 a gallon for gas, my loyalty flew out the window when I realized I could go to an eye doctor who was a mere five minutes from my house. I do feel a little bit like a traitor, but I am really not in the mood to drive all that way just to see my old doctor and have the same exam I could have done by any eye doctor.

I picked an eye doctor who is in a group of several doctors. The company has several offices all over the city, so even if my doctor wasn’t able to see me in an emergency, there would be other doctors in the group that I could go to. The group has been in practice for several years, so I felt comfortable going to see the doctor because if you say the name of the group, people automatically know what you are talking about and their reputation is very good. They are also locally owned by the same family who started the practice so they aren’t going anywhere. Not to mention they have really funny television commercials. Oh course, that is no reason to pick one doctor over another, but advertising does make a big difference and play a roll in those types of decisions, even if we don’t want to admit it to ourselves or anyone else for that matter.

So, I went in for my exam and it was the most complete eye exam I had ever had before. They tested me for glaucoma, cataracts, they measured this and took pictures of that, I had five tests before I ever went into the exam room. I then had to read the eye chart and all those fun things you do when you go to the eye doctor. I made sure I told the person doing the different exams on me that I had failed the depth perception test in July. She said “Well, that’s funny because you passed the one I just gave you here!” So ha, Shalonda! I am not a big depth perception test failer. Stick that in your peace pipe and smoke it Shalonda! Boo yeah!

When the doctor came in she says to me “I see your prescription shows you are…” she was trying to find a nice way to say blind. I said to her “blind?” “Not blind, but it’s really strong.” That’s a nice way of saying blind. I had to do all those tests where they put the different lenses in front of your eyes and ask “Which one is better, one or two?” That test makes me nervous because I am afraid of picking the wrong one and getting a bad prescription. This time it didn’t seem as hard to find the one that looked better, so I knew my eyes had changed. I love being blind.

I asked the doctor about failing the depth perception test and she explained why I had such difficulty. Since I am so nearsighted, my brain doesn’t see things like everyone who is not nearsighted. My eyes can’t focus on things together, they have to do it one at a time, so when things are at different depths are difficult for me to discern. My brain wants to use both eyes together to determine the depth of things, but my eyes can’t do that so, it sends the wrong message to my brain and that is why I can’t see things in varied depths. So, I didn’t really fail the test, it was because my eyes are so screwed up! Again, suck on that one, Shalonda!!!

After my exam, the doctor told me my prescription had changed and I am now -8.0 in one eye and -7.50 in the other. I guess it’s not really that bad considering my prescription hadn’t changed in about 10 years. So, I got new contacts and I can see a lot better now. These are probably the most comfortable contacts I’ve had ever. Even if I can now be called “Blind Betty”…until next time, Diva Divine

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