You only want me to be your boyfriend because I am cute...the wisdom of a 5 year old

My friend's little boy is adorable. His name is Elijah and he is five. He has been my "boyfriend" since he was born. I always knew I had a man to fall back on if I needed one, because Elijah had pledged his love to me. Although, it seems now that he has pledged his love to many girls. In fact he told me "I have 586,479 million,8 bijillion girlfriends." I love his number.

I saw Mr. Elijah at graduation last month and he was scoping out all the girls. He told me the three girls sitting in front of me were his girlfriends, and Sarah, his neighbor, was his girlfriend, too. I asked him if I was still his girlfriend and he said "No." Huh? Did I hear you correctly? No? I asked him why I wasn't his girlfriend anymore. He said "Because you are a Mom." I told him "I'm not a Mom." Then he said these dreaded words "You're too old." Oh, I wanted to cry. I am now considered old and I was jilted by my man. Things were not going good.

So, I saw Elijah during Festivus. I asked him if I could be his girlfriend again. This time, his mom was standing there. He said "No, because you are a Mom." Okay, at least his story is consistant. His mom says to him "Elijah, she is not a Mom." Then, he looks at me and says "You only want me to be your boyfriend because..." I could see the wheels in his mind turning,trying to come up with an answer. I looked at him and said "Because you are cute?" He says proudly back "Yeah, you only want me to be your boyfriend because I am cute." It was priceless. I told him he was really cute and that was why I wanted to be his girlfriend. He told me he would be my boyfriend for Festival and then I would be on my own again. At least I had a man for three days.

I am hoping Elijah will reconsider and make me his girlfriend long term. Seriously, the kid is adorable and so easy going. Not to mention he has a great sense of humor. Too bad I am about 28 years older than him because he is quite the catch. Too bad I can't find a nice man my age like Elijah. So, I am going to be looking for a man like Elijah, just a little older. If you know any men like that, send them my way. Until next time, Diva Divine